Indra's invitation

I started on this adventure in February on one bright sunny day for no apparent reason other than the fact my left hand was numb and I had gut feel pushing me to see doctor. I walked up to local health care and shared with him my numbing experience. I was suggested to consult neurophysician. I moved on to neurophysician. I have no clue why I went to Neurophysician - simply followed advise . But I did and as my destiny had this in mind he requested a MRI and I agreed.

I sometimes think when destiny intervenes it has very firm and gentle ways of leading you to discovering things about oneself which you will otherwise have no clues at all.

Being MRIed - MRI is very surreal experience. It is long tunnel where you are pushed in and you have almost 3inches space of between you and some kind of White tunnel.Magnetic beams are passed on the area where you are getting scan. There is huge noise which the technician tries to buffer by putting cotton in ears still it is noise. It is absolute claustrophobic feeling just being there.

For 15 mins only link to me with this world was someone holding my toes. (At my request technicain had agreed to one of nurse holding my toes) I was floating in vacuum with no bearings with world at all. When the technician pulled me out of the tunnel he asked me to come over to see reports . He said he had some findings. The radiologist said that my spinal chord has some patches and demyelination which means that there are some parts of spinal chord which are not working at all and will never work. It felt so unreal how can this happen to me and I said there was problem with his monitor. (How I reacted to life time of illness being introduced to me)So he showed me my own spinal chord on the LCD screen and it was very unbelievable but true.

Second MRI was requested for brain also. Went through same experience again and brain also has some patches and demyelination which means some part of it is not working; will never work at all.
It is such weird feeling to see some parts of your bodies most critical organs not working and you still working as human machine with only numbness in left hand.After 4 hours of MRI torture on a working weekday I was left with feeling of being on road which has an end but I don't know.

I had started my day same as any other dya with my lapyop,blackberry to get to work and I ended it with 4 MRI scan and damaged spinal chord and brain.

This started the whole process of making me believe that I have rare illness called multiple Sclerosis of brain and spinal chord which potentially will affect my lower limbs, fore limbs, kidney and eyes. It has no cure and no prevention. It is illness which itself is in the state of research on how to proceed with treatment once it has been diagnosed.

My mom once told me story as a kid that when Indra god got angry with once of his court dancers he gave her punishment of going to earth and living there. My mom always used to say that I am the dancer. Now I feel may be Indra is missing me and reminding me of my return passport.