Every day of my life is making me student of parenting. My belief that I am getting experience,practise and becoming better parent does not seem to be anything more than just thought. In real world I think I am slipping on benchmarks that I have for this role. All control, patience of not being harsh with kid, not using words that hurt him, not thrashing him seems to be going nowhere. It is conscious effort from my side not to do any of the things that affect him at personality level.
But help me how to deal with persistent no day after day on same thing.
He just thinks that he can get away with things because I finally help him in getting the task done.
Every day when I come home after full day of work I get to see that I did not have any food and I am not ready to invest even half an house of my time in studies. There just so many diversions playtime both indoor/outdoor, schooling, cricket matches. Life has so many things for kid to keep him busy other than studies in his daily life. No amount of practicing the strategy that if you do this that you get this privilege works on this kid.
Other things is I don’t believe this kid thinks there is any difference between parent providing direction and kid taking decision. For him he is as much an adult as he is. How do you set this boundary line that kid is kid and parent a parent and some decisions are parent driven and cannot be based on kid decision. Some things are hard and difficult in life but still have to be done as these are part of habits which as kids we need to learn and incorporate.
As parent it has been conscious effort to spend time with kid which is not like set of instruction driven session but more of human conversation session. It has been realization that I was being instructor to kid all the time asking him to do something or other time. I realized as humans if I need someone to socialize even kid requires that opportunity for building up relationship with parents. Spending some effective like half an hour making conversations with kid on his interest areas. Topics that he understand.
Still the tunnel of parenting is showing no sign of relief at all.
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